All I want, all I've ever wanted in life is to create something beautiful; music, stories, poems, sketches, pictures, etc. That's the only thing that could ever make me truly satisfied with my time here on Earth. I suppose it is a bit ludicrous, the fact that such a young girl on the verge of her 18th birthday should be contemplating matters as though her time was severly limited.
From another perspective, I have all the time in the world to create something beautiful, don't I? Hmm nobody never knows though, that's one thing I've gratefully learned from my mother, and am constantly reminded about. I can go to sleep a healthy person one day and suddenly never wake up. Haha I'm not trying to be bitter or depressing=) That is not my intention at all; it is a mere statement of fact. When people make lists of things they want to do before they die, it's not a very assuring list? 'Cause many create those lists with the mindset that they have all the time in the world, that death only presents itself to the old and the aged. Reality knows better, however.
I don't know what brought about this realization. I know I mentioned earlier that creating something beautiful is all I have ever wanted, but it was only recently realized. Just thinking about everything that evokes some strong emotion from me such as the book Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, the movie Fight Club, the song Ever by Team Sleep, etc. Thinking about how those creations came from the depths of human minds. How all those creations evoked different feelings from me. The one feeling they all had in common was Awe. They all left me in awe. That's something I want to do.....
Something I will do.